Volt …
I’m sure our baby won’t have your heart condition, and even if it does, we’ll make our way through it. You’re here - you’re alive and you’re doing well, and you even have devices to help you get through everything. If our child would have the same problem, we would help it get through everything just like I’m helping you. We shouldn’t… stop having children just because we’re afraid. There are options now, options we can use. Don’t be afraid of that, please.
But then… we’ll have to build him or her a new heart- and- a-and… and check up on it and keep our baby safe and from running too much and- and babies don’t like not running— I should know, I wanted to run for a good majority of my life, but I couldn’t and I still can’t without nearly keeling over and holding my chest until the pain goes away. I… I can’t let this happen to anyone else- especially a child of yours, Taryn. Your… your children are suppose to be free and whimsical and able to dance around as graceful as you- n-not… not sit in a chair all day working on mathematics and arithmetic They should be able to climb trees, chop them down and make buildings— skyscrapers! They can’t… can’t be like me, Taryn. It’ll… it’ll be my fault. my fucking fault that our children are messed up and I… I can’t let that happen.
Why… why not? Is something wrong?
No. Just… what if… what if one of them turns out to be like me, Taryn. If- if we have more babies, the higher the probability that… that one of them will have a broken heart like mine and I… it’d be my fault. It’d be my fucking genes and I wouldn’t… be able to do anything about it. What if- what if our baby now has a hole in its heart?! What if… what if she dies because of me- what if you- I… y-you… I can’t let anything happen to you either.
Good. Good! Because I want to have your babies. Lots of them, preferably.
I don’t… really think that’d be a good idea.
I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to worry you, I just — this is what I constantly worry about every time I see that lovely bump. But I’ll try my hardest to stay positive from now on. Our baby is going to be strong and healthy and beautiful no matter what, right? Right. And even … even if things do go wrong, we’ll try again right? We’ll keep hope?
I’m just too happy, I think. It makes people impossible to be grumpy towards me, as shown in you! All I wanted was to make you smile at least once before the Games started. Really, truly smile. And I succeeded, in more than just that. And it’s really okay, we’re all going to make mistakes. Just never do it again, ha! You’re not an asshole though, never were. Just … anti-social. A doom thinker, remember? I called you that before. Most importantly, you’re just mine.
Of course, Taryn… of course.
I don’t really mind how long it takes, as long as I get to be with you. We’ve been apart before and it completely ripped me to shreds - I’m surprised I survived while I did. I’m just, afraid that the baby won’t be healthy. Or that maybe it’s all too much for me and that I succumb to the pain, or … so many things to panic about, I don’t know where to start, and that causes more panic, in the end. It’s a vicious cycle, but I know you’ll be there for me. You always have been.
Ohh, I remember everything. Absolutely everything. How you were grumpy to everyone except me, and that I managed to make you feel okay about us meeting instead of just carelessly saying ‘hi’ and being done with it. You never hurt me, no. The only time that we suffered was when you refused to sleep with me — which is the only thing you should never, ever do. Clearly. Oh, really now? Cheeky bastard!
Succumbing to the pain… the baby not being healthy… d-don’t… don’t say that, Taryn. Please. Don’t… the baby- she- he- can’t… you- n-none of those things… are going to happen, okay? J-just… don’t… don’t say that.
Well, how could I be grumpy to you? It’s impossible. Physically, mentally, indubitably impossible. You’re too sweet and too bright and too hopeful. Definitely too hopeful- not that it’s a bad thing, not at all. I’m sorry about that… I was just… I wasn’t think. I mean- I was thinking and I meant to protect you, but… it was stupid of me. Of course, I know that now seeing as we’re in bed a lot more often. Heh, what can I say? How else was I going to get you to smile and spend time with an asshole like me?
Not too worry love, I’ll teach you everything you need to know, just like how you taught me basic wiring. It took me a while, but I understand it properly now, and that’s what’s going to happen to you too. Building things will become as easy as anything else to you, it’ll become a second nature! I’m afraid that if I see the cute tiny baby clothes I’ll just drop dead. It’s too adorable! With the little feet and the little hands and everything is just tiny. I’m scared too, but … maybe we can be scared together. I’m terrified of the birth, but I force myself not to think about it right now.
The baby can definitely play with the butterflies, that’s a nice idea. And no … you really weren’t that bad at all. You were adorable, actually. Every time you frowned, I made it my personal assignment to make you smile brightly. It was a good way to get through to you. Gave me a chance to be close to you, too. Even if you didn’t notice.
I’m a bit stubborn when it comes to learning, I’m afraid, so I might just take a bit longer to learn building than it took you to learn wiring. I feel your patience will definitely be tested, love. Oh, well we can’t have that happening either! I’ll go scout around and see if I could find any then bring some back. Hopefully you’ll be in a chair when you see them. You know I’ll be there for you the whole time. I’ll hold your hand and kiss your forehead and… and talk to you about the palace and how it’ll have to wait.
They’ll keep the baby company until it’s ready to finally greet the world. Good. My memory fails me, which is rare, but we’ve been through quite a lot since our first meeting and I just hope I wasn’t mean to you… I never… I didn’t hurt you, right? And trust me, I noticed. I just… didn’t acknowledge it since- well, I didn’t want you to stop, honestly.
We could try building a crib together? It’s not that difficult, I watched my mother do it several times for some of the ladies in District 7. I feel like we should definitely make some form of star lamp for our baby. Stars are important, almost as important as flowers to us. And it is an absolute must that our baby becomes completely addicted to hot chocolate, because it needs be a tradition. But definitely, clothes! We should find some shops that sell baby things.
You’re really too nice to me. Even after all this time you still make butterflies appear in my stomach. I think that’ll stay forever, don’t you? Too bad the baby bump is in the way though, huh? Ha, I love teasing you. I think it’s because of your face and how I remember how cold and distant you were. I did good, considering you were Mr. Frown!
That sounds absolutely perfect! Though you’ll probably have to watch me carefully. I may be able to technify houses, but I definitely can’t build them and cribs. Ooh! I could do the lamp perhaps! That, I could definitely work with and you could help me too since you know some basic wiring. Yes! We can take turns making it every night and I’m sure there’s bound to be some shops around here. I’m so incredibly excited, Taryn… absolutely excited- I mean… a bit worried, but… but excited nonetheless.
No, definitely not nice enough. You deserve… a lot more niceness especially after dealing with me after all this time. Mhmm I sure hope so. Well, the baby can play with the butterflies. I’m sure he or she would enjoy them. Mr. Frown, huh? I wasn’t… that bad, was I?
Believe it! It’s going to happen, and soon too, judging by how active our baby is. He, or she, is going to be a smart baby, that’s for sure. If we can combine our talents then we’ll have a really good baby. It was bound to happen eventually, huh? With us being all… warm and fuzzy under the covers. Nothing I minded.
Yes, loving you properly is completely out of the question. And by that, I obviously mean sex. I am not attractive with a baby bump.
Then I must prepare! I must make toys and crib- though I’m sure you’d be better at that than I- and perhaps a mini computer for him or her to start on and some basic circuits and maybe a few wiring tips and child can understand too! And… and clothes! Oh clothes! We have to get our baby clothes before he or she comes! Well, of course we’re going to have a good baby. Whether he or she receives any traits from me, it’ll still be a good baby as long as one of your many wonderful traits are passed down- like… like your smile or laugh or- or your eyes… Definitely. Nothing I minded either. Definitely not.
Ah-ha- sex! Yes! I- no, Taryn, we’ve gone over this before! You look beautiful whether you look as you do right now or blow up to become as round as a whale. I wouldn’t have you any other way.
Good! Because we need flowers for our beautiful baby to grow up in. It needs to become acquainted to the scent and the colours, because that’s important. It reminds me of all the plans we talked about when we were in training sessions, remember? When I told you I’d smile if I saw one of them in the arena? Well, I’m smiling now — except not in the arena.
Our baby is doing good. It’s kicking a lot. I feel sad though, because now I can’t love you properly for the next couple of months. Poor you.
Our beautiful baby… we’re- we’re having a baby… I- I still can’t believe it, Taryn. I can’t believe I’m… actually going to be a father and you’re going to be my wife and we’re going to have a mini Taryn or mini Volt and I know how probable it was seeing as… well, we did attempt to- uhm- ahem- but I still can’t believe it. But yes! Definitely, though you know a lot more about colors and flowers and nature than I do. I grew up living around lights and switches and levers and buttons, which our baby will learn about too- but after, definitely. Ah, yes. I… I remember that, though I’m glad you’re smiling and not in the arena.
Hm? Love me properly? Love, any sort of love from you is perfectly fine, yknow.
reblogged 5 months ago, with 61 notes
